My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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