I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
one might say we're banned from that church
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
