So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
