i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
