return my video game
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
