Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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