Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
