Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
