Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize