Need sex. Gaining weight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
