Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
