you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
