terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
