I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
