Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize