a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
