There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
COCAINE IS GR8
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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