Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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