I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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