When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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