I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
