So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
