Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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