i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
