dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
