I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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