On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
