I am in a vortex of obligation.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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