Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize