You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
