Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
