The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this boner is exhausting
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize