I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
