He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
