Already got asked if we're dating
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
