So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
