playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
