I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
