I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just had sex on a roof
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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