So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
