I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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