we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
