Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
