just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
