I'm going to jail i love you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
zippers are such a cool invention
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
