I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He better not be in your backpack
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
