How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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