Moan for me like Helen Keller
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize