my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
