he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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