it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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