ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You're a disaster
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