It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
