Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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