It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
