Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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