its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
