No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
