My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
