You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
