Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
